A parent’s guide to creating the right learning environment for young learners.

I feel a deep sense of desperation when I look into the eyes of well-meaning parents whose children have succumbed to gaming addiction or lost interest in reading books. These parents have done everything right: they hold steady jobs, cook fresh meals, provide clean clothes, and pay school fees and tuition. Yet they wonder, “These children have much more than we did, yet they don’t perform half as well. What else do they need?”

That’s the critical question: What do children need?

Before we explore that, let me briefly share a story about a book I discovered years ago while cleaning my in-laws’ place. My father-in-law is an avid collector of books and booklets, and I’ve found many treasures among his collection. One particular book is especially memorable; it literally fell into my hands while I was helping family friends years ago.

It is a beautifully written book that explores the essence of what is required of a student, and how parents and teachers can help. 

We have been sold the current model of education because we want our children to be “smart”.  But we need to understand where the system has led us.

The current state of affairs

IITs have two hostels full of students who struggle to graduate within the four years typically required to earn a degree with passing grades. It is obviously not just a JEE rank. People with 7-figure salaries are incapable of holding relationships and, worse, have addictions that push them to the brink of breaking.  Big houses, multiple degrees, cars that can double as ships, clearly do not make people happy and successful.  For all these people, there is a pain in their hearts. A pain that connects to the root cause of a lack of understanding of the words “Education” and “Success.”

In my work as an educator, I read regularly about what Indian philosophers say. My understanding of these words is captured by the words below:

On Education by Swami Vivekananda

“The education that does not help the common mass of people to equip themselves for the struggle of life, which does not bring out the strength of character, a spirit of philanthropy, and the courage of a lion–is it worth the name? We want education by which character is formed, the strength of the mind is increased, the intellect is expanded, and by which one can stand on one’s own feet. What we need is to study, independent of foreign control, different branches of the knowledge that is our own, and with it the English language and western science; we need technical education and all else that will develop industries, so that men, instead of seeking service, may earn enough to provide for themselves and save against a rainy day. The end of all education, all training, should be man-making.”

Definition of success from Vedanta Kesari, published by Ramakrishna Mutt. 

In the world inside, it means to harmoniously develop and attain perfection in our faculties of thought, discrimination, and emotions. It is to cultivate an independent thinking, a brazen intellect, and a heart that can feel for every living being. It also means to be aware and to function from a deeper or higher level of consciousness. In the world outside, it is progressive development towards excellence in action and harmony in relationships.  

Read those two definitions again. Why have we reduced this huge responsibility to just numbers on a mark sheet?

. . .

Let us get back to the question posed at the beginning: What do children need?

What does anyone need for that matter? When does one feel successful?

When there is purpose in life, when they have an internal sense of satisfaction. 

How can you make children responsible for their own lives? 

It is like this. The first ingredient for a pineapple cake is pineapple. 

What should be the first ingredient of “education”?

In Swami Vivekananda’s words, “The power of concentration is the only key to the treasure-house of knowledge.”

That is it! It is concentration that we need to hone in the children. I have already written about the coordination required among the child, parents, and teachers here. In the remainder of this article, I would like to discuss the specifics of an eight-fold model for parents who want to help their children become better learners by honing their power of concentration.

1. Embracing responsibility at home and in their own life. 

I can’t help but pick up a stray piece of paper or turn off a light before leaving a room! This habit comes from a deep-rooted sense of responsibility nurtured in me as a child.

It’s so important to empower kids with age-appropriate responsibilities! Not only does this spark their initiative and help them become more aware of their surroundings, but it also hones their ability to hold focus and fosters the habit of completing tasks.

Instead of doing everything for them, let’s involve our children in organizing their spaces and teach them to manage their own chores, such as washing dishes and clothes and tidying their rooms. Encouraging them to return things to their rightful places after use fosters a sense of pride and responsibility. These small yet impactful practices can truly help your child grow into a responsible and caring individual! Together, we can make this journey enjoyable and rewarding!

Here is a word of caution! Never burden the child with so much responsibility that they feel burdened at a young age. Sometimes I have come across parents who burden their child with so many physical and emotional responsibilities that these responsibilities themselves become a roadblock to the child’s growth.

2. Sit in the same place, at the same time, every day, to study.

Engage your child in creating a personalized timetable!  

The quality and consistency of our habits shape our lives. The repetition of habits shapes our subconscious choices (samskaras). For example, we don’t think about brushing our teeth after washing up; it’s become automatic. Studying should also become a routine. When it is time to study, your child should sit down with their books in the designated spot—no negotiations.

1. Help your child find a clean, airy space where they can sit comfortably and work for long periods. While we preferred using the floor with a writing desk, make sure that nothing distracting is in their line of sight.
2. The mind naturally dwells on objects of its liking. When there is a lot of love for a subject, the mind becomes focused. Therefore, students need to develop a love for their studies. This love grows when they understand, observe, and engage with the subject. Have conversations with them about the interesting things they are learning. It also helps them consolidate their understanding.
3. Teach them to pay attention to their own posture and the quality of their work. A dignified, steady posture often reflects a steady mind, and bringing beauty to their work helps them practice perfection.
4. Encourage them to focus on one subject or task at a time. When they sit down to study, they should know what “done” looks like—whether it’s completing 10 pages or finishing an assignment sheet. Many students use this strategy to set their SMART goals in advance. Having a specific portion to complete in one sitting helps enhance focus.
5. Help them calm down before starting a study session. Techniques like a memory dump—writing down everything they know about the topic so far—can be useful. This allows them to fill knowledge gaps and consolidate their understanding before learning something new. The right order of studying prevents information from becoming overwhelming.
6. Teach them to alternate between subjects, as doing the same thing repeatedly can be tedious. Active study practices, such as solving problems, are much more beneficial than simply watching lectures for hours.
7. Aim for at least an hour of focused study. The mind needs some time to settle down, so spend about 10 minutes beforehand clearing your thoughts of any lingering conversations or distractions.
8. Ensure that family members and friends do not disturb your child during study time. For example, I had a friend who would put a note on his door during study hours asking his mother’s friends not to interrupt. It’s unrealistic to expect children to study while there are distractions around.

3. Food that nourishes the soul

Many students struggle to study attentively because their minds tend to drift into a dream-like state. To combat this, we need to keep our minds alert and focused. Here are some strategies:

1. Avoid Sleep-Inducing Foods: Steer clear of heavy, fatty meals and foods that aren’t suited for the season, as they can increase sleepiness. However, it’s important to note that completely fat-free foods are also unhealthy. The right amount of fat is essential for the proper functioning of our bodies.
2. Understand Aahara from an Ayurvedic Perspective: According to Ayurveda, instead of categorizing food as simply good or bad, we should consider how, when, and what foods should be eaten to gain their benefits.

It is concerning to see parents purchasing packaged biscuits, chips, and chocolates made with ingredients that do not align with the definition of food. Instead, prioritize cooking three traditional meals and healthy snacks without additives. Providing the right raw materials is crucial for developing a body and mind that can focus effectively. Achieving this is not a matter of chance; it is a conscious choice.

4. An orderly home where peace, truth, and respect are practiced

1. Keep the house clean. How can we expect a child to concentrate sitting in front of a pile of unfolded clothes? For young minds, external orderliness is a prerequisite for internal orderliness.
2. Feeling safe and respected is crucial for strong memory retention. Remember this formula: “Calm and safe mind + Learning = Long-term memory.”
3. Be present for your child while they study. Parents often tend to watch videos or scroll through their phones, expecting their children to study effectively. This sets a poor example. Supporting your child’s study habits requires some sacrifices on your part. Spend at least two hours a day with them—either by reading or engaging in another quiet activity—while keeping your phone away. Children tend to imitate what they see rather than what they are told. If we don’t live in the way we want them to, they lack a positive example to follow.

5. One art of their choice 

Engaging in art teaches children valuable skills such as initiative and the pursuit of perfection. It fosters patience and resilience. As children perfect each note and each stroke, the quality of their focus improves, fine-tuning the sensitivity of their organs of action and knowledge. Often, children who develop their artistic abilities to an advanced level establish their own identities and are better equipped to resist negative influences from others.

6. Play and relax every day

Children spend long hours in school studying and then often continue their work at home. Just as we schedule their study time, it’s also important to allocate free time for them to play or simply relax. Imagine if you ran your car 24 hours a day; it wouldn’t keep functioning well without rest. Likewise, rest and recovery are essential for peak performance. When I say “play,” I mean unstructured play—time without the pressure to perform—where children can learn to build social connections. Yoga nidra is one way to also teach children the art of relaxation.

7. Pray every day

1. Encourage children to bathe every morning. They are set to receive Vidhya(knowledge). How can they go to school dirty? A good “snaan”, the physical act of cleansing with water also helps keep the mind fresh and ready to focus.
2. Teach them to pray sincerely to gain strength, keep their minds and bodies pure, and open themselves up to new experiences.
3. Instill faith in them. Faith is the trust one has in one’s own abilities. Even if someone has exceptionally strong muscles, those muscles are not useful without faith in their own strength. Having faith in their ability helps children focus and do their work better.

8. Teach them to choose good company

Company the children keep is often overlooked when it comes to helping a child hone her concetration.

How often have you observed that children pick up bad words and habits easily? Not just children; we also imitate a lot from our environment. The input we receive directly influences the output we produce. Instead of engaging in useless chatter or criticizing, which only drains our mental energy, we should focus on nurturing positive behaviors. All of us must develop the ability to distinguish between Shreyas (the higher choice) and Preyas (the immediate pleasure) and to choose Shreyas every single time consistently. Teaching children to choose what is good for them is an important part of their education.

This 8-fold path summarizes my understanding of the environment essential for providing children with the greatest gift we can offer.

In The Mother’s words,

“To love to learn is the most precious gift that one can give to a child: to love to learn always and everywhere, so that all circumstances, all the happenings in life may be constantly renewed opportunities of learning more and more always.”

One last thing before I wrap up…

The book I talked about earlier, by Swami Prabhavananda, has given lovely tips to teachers to debug problems: 

Why do students lack concentration?

Here is the teacher’s checklist: 

1. Does the child understand the lesson properly?  
2. Is the child consuming nourishing food? Contrary to the current trend of eating anything and relying on stomach acid to digest it, the science of nutrition requires understanding. Each child needs different foods in different seasons based on their Prakriti (body constitution) and changing daily needs. If stomach acid could digest all the food we eat, why do people have allergies? Each person reacts differently to various substances. Ayurveda acknowledges that each body is unique and identifies what is needed for that individual.  
3. Are there disturbing family conditions affecting the child?  
4. Is the child’s mind troubled by something they have witnessed?  
5. Is the child addicted to TV and other sensory pleasures? When children habitually become mere observers of others’ activities, they tend to feel restless, especially in response to intense stimuli.  
6. Does the child suffer from a chronic illness or condition?  
7. Has the child fallen in with a bad crowd?  
8. Is the child’s mindset aligned with the teaching?  
9. Does the child enjoy their subject, or do their interests lie elsewhere?  
10. Is the child afraid of something? Fear can often be the first obstacle to learning. An honest conversation can help us understand her concerns.

…

To Educate a child is to Educate Oneself — The Mother.

In Tamil, we say, 

“Thai ettu adi vecha, kutti padanaaradi vaikkum.”

When the mother takes eight strides, the child takes sixteen. “

Let us take those eight strides to move away from slave-making education to give our children what Swami Vivekandanda called “Man-making” education.

Leave your thoughts in the comments and do keep coming back!

श्रीकृष्णार्पनमस्तु 🪷